The Pink Elephant

(Written while I was pregnant with my daughter.)

In my PTSD blog I often refer to my intrusive thoughts as "pink elephants". They are there first thing in the morning when I wake up, they are there in the daytime when I'm not expecting them, they take over my mind and my life. They even dare to follow me in my sleep.

I didn't want them there.

I used to think of them as the enemy...

...until I created one of them. 

I created this being who began to take over my thoughts from the very moment she existed. My thoughts of her would come from nowhere and everywhere at the same time - all the time.

Now I wake in the morning and before I open my eyes that tiny pink elephant is nudging me with tiny feet and fists encouraging me to move somewhere more comfortable for us. She's in my every thought as my day goes on, sometimes giving me a gentle reminder kick to the ribs or rapid punches to my side. She's there... filling my thoughts - making me wonder how on earth I became so blessed as to be able to share my body with this tiny human.

I never thought I would learn to love each morning when I wake up to a tiny pink elephant making my belly shift as she tries to get comfortable. 

Sometimes... we are lucky enough to turn the things we fight against - to the things we fight for. ❤️

Here's to a different kind of pink elephant, one who makes me whole again. The one who keeps my monsters out of reach for now.

Thank you Tiny Pink Ellie

Love,

Your Momma